yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
