What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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