Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
