what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I am one with the molecules
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize