Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Randomize
