love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
