Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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