YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
