About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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