You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
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