OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
