Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
