Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Randomize