Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
