i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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