these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
