Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
