It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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