Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Randomize
