Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
