i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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