What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Houston, we have a squirter
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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