so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize