omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize