He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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