the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
sarcasm needs its own font
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
