when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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