My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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