thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
