it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
