If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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