people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
