i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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