But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Randomize
