sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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