felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
