this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
3pm strippers are depressing
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
