ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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