Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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