your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
