Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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