fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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