she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
