your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Randomize
