Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Randomize
