thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
So drunk its hurt
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
