dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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