He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
