I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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