I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize
