Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
how drunk are you?
Several
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
