Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I wear drunk well.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
