come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
