It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
