I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
3 2 1 whiskey
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Randomize
