No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
