Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
