he shaved USA in his pubs
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize