no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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