Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
