last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Randomize
