i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
It's official drugs can't kill me
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
