Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Randomize
