either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
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