She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
