Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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