Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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