I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
