I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
