I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
