reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
