but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
