My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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