Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
