I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
