This is not my ceiling
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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