There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
