after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
