There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
