i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
