I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
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