Buhtt sex?
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
